10:00 PM
|
Friday. Set alarm for 6 AM to get
at the junkyard when it opens.
|
|
11:16 AM
|
Wheelcover hits state police car
on other side median in middle of windshield.
|
6:10 AM
|
Dream about being in a boxing
match. Wake up to your wife punching you in the ribs because the
alarm has been ringing for 10 minutes.
|
|
11:17 AM
|
Decide to take scenic route down
back roads home.
|
6:12 AM
|
Stumble into the bathroom. Reach
under sink for mouthwash. Open bottle, take a swig and spray
bathroom mirror.
|
|
12:10 PM
|
Stop at restaurant for lunch.
|
6:13 AM
|
Put bottle of Pine-Sol back where
it belongs.
|
|
12:25 PM
|
Get food. Tastes like pine
cleaner.
|
6:20 AM
|
Fix breakfast that tastes like
pine cleaner.
|
|
12:55 PM
|
Come out of restaurant to see
police car with broken windshield drive by slowly. Police officer
looks extremely annoyed.
|
6:30 AM
|
Leave driveway.
|
|
12:59 PM
|
Return to pick-up which you had
thoughtfully hidden behind dumpster.
|
6:35 AM
|
Return for tools.
|
|
1:12 PM
|
Arrive home.
|
6:58 AM
|
Arrive at junkyard.
|
|
1:20 PM
|
Start process of changing fenders.
|
8:00 AM
|
Owner arrives at usual time to
open up.
|
|
3:30 PM
|
Getting there.
|
8:05 AM
|
Sign in and owner tells you four
cars like yours are around back and to the left.
|
|
3:45 PM
|
Almost got it on. Crack knuckles
again. Use blue language.
|
8:11 AM
|
Wait for heartbeat to return to
normal after you turned right and almost stepped on the guard dog.
|
|
3:47 PM
|
Four year old daughter, that you
didn’t know was behind you, goes inside, repeats what you
said to Mommy.
|
8:25 AM
|
Find cars. Red one like yours is
missing fender but blue car looks OK.
|
|
3:48 PM
|
Wife informs you that you are now
sleeping on the couch.
|
8:45 AM
|
Wrench slips and you smash
knuckles against sharp piece of metal.
|
|
4:10 PM
|
Finally done. Paint even matches
car.
|
9:30 AM
|
Still trying to get the last bolt
out.
|
|
4:45 PM
|
Clean up. Load wife and kids in
car and head for the drive-in.
|
10:30 AM
|
Still can’t get the fender
off.
|
|
5:05 PM
|
Park car. Crowd leaves new
Corvette and comes over to drool on your car.
|
10:40 AM
|
Give up and return to the office
for advice.
|
|
5:20 PM
|
Get food. Still tastes like pine
cleaner.
|
10:45 AM
|
Pay for the red fender which yard
had pulled off because your friend said you’d probably be in
to get it.
|
|
5:25 PM
|
Police car with broken windshield
pulls in next to you. Office compliments you on nice car.
|
11:45 AM
|
Driving down highway, wheel cover
comes off pick-up and becomes air born.
|
|
|